Stephanie Hollman is ready to reclaim her life back.
During Wednesday’s episode of The Real Housewives of Dallas, Hollman, along with Mary Brittingham and D’Andra Simmons, participated in a sweat lodge, where the ladies engaged in physical and emotional healing and cleansing.
“I’m very grateful to be here,” said Hollman, 38. “I don’t know, I feel like I’m just searching right now, honestly … for more happiness maybe, within myself. That’s what my intention is — just to release a little bit.”
“I have felt very depressed on this trip,” she told cameras. “I’m hoping to release my shame of being back on antidepressants and to not have it all figured out. I just want to reclaim my life.”
Last week, Hollman got candid with her feelings about LeeAnne Locken‘s decision to speak openly about her painful history, including her past suicide attempt.
RELATED: RHOD‘s Stephanie Hollman Reveals She Attempted Suicide When She Was 22
“I feel a little off on this trip,” Hollman told Brandi Redmond while on a group trip to Mexico. “I don’t know why, I’m going to be honest. I feel like you’re a security blanket for me. It was really heavy yesterday, I’m not going to lie. Like with LeAnne and her story, that s— is in my head and I start thinking about it. It’s f—– up.”
Visibly upset, Hollman told cameras, “Every 30 seconds someone commits suicide and it’s something you just don’t talk about because you’re having a bad day. I do feel triggered by it. It’s very depressing. It’s a sensitive topic for me. It makes me think about my own suicide attempt and depression, and I don’t like that.”
In 2018, the mother of two tearfully revealed that she attempted suicide when she was 22.
“I was with a guy who didn’t make me feel like a worthy person,” Hollman said. “I never felt pretty enough, I never felt good enough. I was always judged. We broke up and it was like, I lost my friends. And I just couldn’t handle it.”
“I remember going to the bathroom and finding a bottle of pills. And I remember taking them all, laying down in my bed,” she recalled. “My mom was home, so I stumbled into her room and told her what I had done, and then she called the ambulance.”
RELATED VIDEO: RHOD’s’ Stephanie Hollman Opens Up About Past Suicide Attempt: ‘The Biggest Struggles Are the Greatest Blessings’
When asked by a producer why Hollman feels the need to put on a happy face and hide what’s actually going on, she was hesitant to respond.
“Because people don’t like to be around people who don’t make them feel good,” she said. “Nobody would want to be my friend if I was honest about what I deal with. Like, all the time. I wouldn’t have any friends.”
Real Housewives of Dallas airs Wednesdays (9 p.m. ET) on Bravo.
If you or someone you know is considering suicide, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255), text “home” to the Crisis Text Line at 741-741 or go to suicidepreventionlifeline.org.