The Sober Inspiration Series is a sequence of interviews with regular women, just like you and me, who have overcome alcohol dependence, abuse, and addiction. We feature women from all backgrounds and walks of life and praise all methods of recovery from addiction, whether support groups, higher power, rehab, counseling, DIY or a combination of all the above. Please join us in celebrating these strong, successful women. If you’d like to share your story, check out the interview instructions, and let us know.
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Can you share a little about yourself?
My name is Connie McMillan aka Sobriety Queen. I am a survivor of alcohol use and abuse four years and counting. I help women around the world to Recover, Rebuild and Thrive in Life Sober while breaking generational curses in their families. Some of the ways are with my courses, mentor membership, and eBooks.
My life is filled with love from my 4-year-old son, Chance (fur baby with 4 legs) lol. I enjoy spending my time learning and reading as it helps to stretch my mind in sharpening as a leader. We all know Readers are Leaders.
Today I am the Sobriety Queen but for over ten years I was the Alcohol Feen. Everything I did included alcohol, from the people, places, and things I did it all involved being lead by alcohol. Including being married to my former husband who I stayed with for 11 years.
Can you share your experience with alcohol?
Alcohol had a hold on me something terrible. And it wasn’t trying to let me go nor was I trying to break free. I believed that I was in control of this substance and boy oh boy did I find out the hard way just how much I wasn’t in control.
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I can remember a time I went out with friends to celebrate their birthday. This night my alcohol abuse brought me to the highest level of shame ever. I would always drink before I got to the club. I remember wearing a black fitted dress and having several drinks once I arrived. I had been there for about an hour. I remember saying hello to a gentleman who worked at the facility I was doing my internship for my undergrad. He had been drinking with his boys.
The next thing I remember feeling like I was having as if I was having an outer body experience because I saw myself engaging in sexual activities with this same gentleman and then it was truly happening right inside the club in front of everyone. The shame I felt the next day when my friends told me what I had done couldn’t compare to the photos I saw with my own eyes. There I was drunk breast exposed and just allowing myself to be treated with such disrespect publicly. It was beyond embarrassing. But guess what, I didn’t stop drinking alcohol. Why? Because I had to cover that pain and shame too.
How did you know it was finally time to stop drinking?
The final day came in Jan 2014. I remember because I nearly died and would have surely met my mother in heaven. In early January on a Saturday evening, I did what I usually did, I had my LIT (Long Island Ice Tea). Because I was a bartender (yes, I have a license too) we use to put the wine glasses in the freezer to get chilled. I did the same at home. This particular night I had just removed my glass from the freezer and poured a glass, took a sip and nearly choked to death.
I remember coughing because I couldn’t catch my breath. At first, I just thought the alcohol went down the wrong pipe. So as soon as I could breathe again I took another sip and the exact same thing happened — I nearly choked to death.
I had enough sense to know something was happening. I thought to myself, God is trying to tell me something. And I wasn’t going for a third attempt.
That evening I poured the rest of my alcohol out and never picked up again. I will tell you I cried like a baby because in my heart I knew God was saving my life. I had asked him for help before but this time he answered. It was just before my mom died. I couldn’t understand why God had saved me at the time but once my mom died (who was also an abuser of alcohol) I knew then, God was telling me, “Connie, now you have a chance to break the generational curses in this family” And from that day forward I’ve never drunk again.
What was your biggest challenge with getting sober, and how did you overcome it?
One of my biggest challenges was living in the same environment that was connected to my alcohol use and abuse and being around the same company. To stay sober I had to remove myself physically. I moved from Brooklyn, New York to East Orange, NJ and I must add it wasn’t my choice. I was searching for a new apartment on Craigslist (before all the scam artists) and clicked on a picture of a beautiful apartment with a sunken living room. I always loved those kinds of apartments. I was sold and that’s how I ended up here in New Jersey where I’ve lived for 6 years now.
What is the best advice you can give to someone who is struggling with alcohol abuse?
My advice to someone who is struggling with alcohol abuse, if you’re ready to be free from alcohol it’s possible by just making the first step and admitting you need help. Sobriety doesn’t have to be done the traditional way because today there are so many options, but you must be willing to fight for your right to be free. Click To Tweet It’s a process it won’t happen overnight but so long as you stick with it, it’s bound to stick to you.
Share with us three people in the sobriety or personal development space you recommend checking out?
3 Sober Queens that I truly love and admire for being World Changers:
Ebony K English | Amanda Nelson | Africa Brooke
Do you celebrate your sober anniversary in any special way?
The best way I celebrate my anniversary is by sharing with my audience the before, now and the future of sobriety. I never want them to see the number of sober years I’d much rather them see the constant journey I am on and become inspired to join the movement.
Where can we find you on the internet?
As mentioned previously, I am a licensed bartender and the Sobriety Queen Mixologist of New Jersey. My company, Cocktails With Chocolate offers mobile service and bottled products for all events for individuals to: Have a ball without alcohol.
Feel free to visit us at: